By Behcet Bicakci, (DipLC), Life Coach
Are you not able to focus on what you want to do? or are you confused because you have got too many things in your mind? or are you not able to make decisions about your private, family, social and work life? do you feel you don’t know which direction to go? If you have these kind of feelings and your mind is clouded and you are not able to think clear then this blog is for you.
What is clarity?
A simple definition of clarity is being clear in your mind and with your feelings and having clear directions about what you want to be, what you want to have, and where you want to go.
The clarity in mind is essential for physical, psychological and emotional wellbeing as well as making the right decisions. When your mind is clear, you know which direction to go. It depends on your decisions to be the best version of yourself and achieve the success you desire for. Clarity can be the starting point of a good and meaningful life as well as success.
Statistics show that people who have clarity on their side are successful and enjoy their life while people who are not clear about their directions and keep changing their mind and their direction they are fail. Lack of clarity and unable to find right direction can be the source of wrongdoings such as using drug, alcohol, hostility, violence, lack of integration of social life, procrastination, unable to get out of economic and emotional turmoil. Furthermore, it can also be a source of mental and physical health issues such as anxiety, fatigue, stress, depression, lack of motivation, eating disorder, self-harm and so on. When you are not clear in your mind, nothing is clear in your life.
If you are confused by choices and options as well as thoughts and feelings, then it is highly likely you will make wrong decisions which can negatively affect your life as well as people around you. No matter how well educated and talented person you are, if you are unable to clear your mind and focus on what you want, you will fail. A well known Indian yogi and author Jaggi Vasudev has also known Sadhguru states that;
“if you change your mind constantly, it will not help you to get where you want to go. Being uncertain about what you want to do will also confuse people around you. This can affect your relations with others also.”
Approximately there are around 50 thousand thoughts cross our mind every day. Some of these thoughts are positive, some negative and some of them emotional. Whichever thought we focus on, it will grow. Therefore, if we focus on negative thoughts and feelings such as fear, sadness, anger, jealousy, hate, resentment and so on, and allow them to stick around and keep talking to ourselves negatively, our brain will produce more negative thoughts and focus on them. These negative thoughts will not serve us to move forward but get on our way and destruct us from what we want to achieve. Because of this reason, it is essential to let negative thoughts go and focus on positive thoughts which can help us to set up clear directions and focus on what we want to achieve. The more we focus on positive thoughts, the more our brain will produce positive thoughts and feelings.
Let me give you an example. Let’s say you are working for a firm, and recently you have been under stress because you have some personal/family issues. You have been late to work and unable to finish your daily work tasks. Your manager briefly had a word with you and reminded you that you should do better. You start to think that you might lose your job and if you lose your job you won’t be able to pay your rent, and you do not have much savings. This might also make your family issue worse. If you keep the focus on you might lose your job, your work progress will go down, and you will start mass up things at work because you are not able to focus on your work and you will force yourself to do it. This will not help you to get out of the situation. Instead, you can have a word with your manager and explain you have got some personal/family issues and you will need some support till you sort it out. As long as your manager is aware of your personal issues; they will understand and treat you differently. This will help you to build up your self-confidence and do better at work.
Also, it is not only negative thoughts and feelings that we need to let them go, but we also need to deal with unprocessed feelings, thoughts and ideas that are crowding in our inner landscape. Unaddressed thoughts and feelings can grow by the time if we have a habit of not dealing with them. Just imagine you live in a house and you don’t clean and tidy up for a week. After a few days, you will start to notice it gets messy and dirty. Imagine if you do not clean and tidy up your house for weeks even for months, what will happen? After a while, you will not be able to enter the house and move around because it will be too messy and dirty. This is the same for our mind; when we don’t address and deal with matters in our mind, by the time, we will have too many thoughts, ideas and feelings. Having too many of them in our mind will confuse us and make it challenging to identify the correct one. That is why it is vital to learn clear our mind, let negative thoughts and feelings go, start addressing issues and challenges that we keep in our memory for weeks, months even years. Once we start clearing our mind, we will make more space for new positive thoughts and ideas grow in our mind.
Dr Habib Sadeghi D.O., The Author of The Clarity Cleanse book, explain the cause of unaddressed thoughts and feelings on our inner peace as follows:
‘…if we don’t make a habit of containing and processing our feelings and thoughts, …Such feelings and thoughts hang around, cluttering up our consciousness. Over time, unaddressed clutter will continue to build, not only crowding out our authentic being but festering and becoming unsanitary, even downright dangerous. When the buildup reaches this level in our internal landscape, that’s when disease erupts in our bodies or life circumstances.
Our biases, prejudices and limiting beliefs and our many distractions which is repressed emotions and unprocessed experiences (bad or good) that stick with us, drain our energy and get in our way. We need a way to process and make sense of the things that happen in our lives… The longer we go without taking action, the more work there’s going to be when we finally start, and the more likely it is we’ll unearth something truly nasty that’s been growing unseen in the darkness.’
Initially, it can be challenging to get used to clear our mind because anything new we start and practice is difficult and can be complicated. However, by practising it over and over again, we will learn how to clear our mind and making the right decisions. A Canadian Life and Business Coach Brain Tracy addresses this process as follows:
“It is like climbing on a mountain; in the beginning, you are surrounded by rocks and trees; however, the more you go up, the easier you see different views and enjoy the view. Of course, it is difficult when you start your journey, the more you make progress, the more you need to make effort, your legs will be shaking and feel tired, you will run out breath time to time, however when you arrive certain level you can take a break and enjoy the view while your body re-energise. After arriving at the top of the mountain, you can see the view clearly and see what is happening at the bottom. It is easier to control your life when you are at the top of your purpose and achievements.”
How to Process Clarity
- Writing: One of the best way to clear our mind is writing down our thoughts, feelings and ideas. Whether they are negative or positive. Writing each of them with their reason separately will help us see the clear picture and how to deal with it.
- Seeking Help: When we experience with a situation, challenge or a problem, it is crucial we identify why it happens and try deal with it by talking with a friend, work colleague, family member or a professional such as psychologist, doctor, career specialist, life/business coach and so on. This will help you to give it a meaning and find the source of challenge or issue and also find a solution which will help you to clear your mind and focus on your life. If you don’t take action earlier, the situation can get out of hand and stay that way.
- Stop Blaming: We need to stop blaming and judging ourselves as well as others. Also, we need to stop internalise negative feelings, thoughts and experiences. When we stop to do so, a considerable burden is lifted, and we will be more positive, resilient and better able to identify our directions which way to go.
- Keep Being Positive And Clear about What You Want: When we have clarity on our side, we know what we want, have and to do. Therefore, we have clear directions in our life. Because we start to think and act differently, different things will come on our way. This positive change will affect our personal, family, social and work life. We will start notice opportunities, and positive people appear in our lives, troubled relationships will either improve or resolve, quality of our life, as well as the quality of our relationships with friends, colleagues, or romantic partner, will improve.
- Visualise Positive Future and Do not Be Afraid to Take Risk: Clarity gives us a positive outlook, enable us to visualise our future and to have clear plans for our future. When we are clear about our directions, we do not scare of taking risks of things we wanted to do but did not have enough courage to do; we will have good enough self-confidence to take risks and enjoy the life we want to live.