• Behcet Bicakci

How to Succeed

One of the main reasons that we keep failing is our bad habits. They can be powerful, and they can be the only reason for our failure and unhappiness. Although we have our sources, we might not apply them enough or even at all.


"Don’t forget a simple word can change your life for the better. This magic word is “Hello”.

What are these sources?

The resources we have available to us that can form part of our success include

  • Education and training,

  • Our own experiences,

  • Knowing where and when seeking help and support

And we are going to explore each of these in more detail throughout this blog.

Education and Training


Why are we educated, and why do we spend so many years studying and training? Because

education helps us to grow and develop, build up a good personality. As well as learn how to respect rules, the law and others in order to live a meaningful life.

We are all educated at certain levels from primary school to high school, and then potentially on to college and university. Education and training are provided based on research and theories that we can benefit from.

The education we receive enables us to read, write and communicate. Being educated is a crucial part of our growth as human beings. One of the main reasons developed countries have better living standards than developing countries is education.

We have spent years of our lives learning. And yet, why aren't we applying what we have learned? For example; We learn maths; but, we do not use it enough when running a business or try saving. When you know your account (income and outgoings) and keep records, there is no reason you cannot be successful.

Also, we are all educated to be kind and how to communicate with others. However, most of us struggling with loneliness which is one of the main causes of mental health issues. Just remember when your school teacher or university lecturer asked you to work with your classmates and prepare some homework or assignments. Was it difficult to communicate with your classmates? Of course not. But why is it difficult to communicate with your neighbours? Because you don't apply what you learned at school.

There are so many different ways to connect with people in our neighbourhoods. If you were to take away one positive thing from COVID-19, it has been our ability to find joy and appreciation in the small acts of kindness. The small things have never before meant so much; for example, you can make somebody’s day by:

  • greeting them in the street;

  • having a conversation over the hedge or out on the pavement;

  • sharing a cup of tea or coffee,

  • going for a walk,

  • baking a cake and sharing it with somebody;

  • helping out with DIY or gardening etc.

The important thing is that you make the first move and start to communicate with people in your neighbourhood; it’s all about finding ways to connect.

One of my mentors would say, "Don’t forget a simple word can change your life for the better. This magic word is “Hello”. It means I am your friend, and I am open to talk.

Experience

Our past life and events are our experience. Therefore, we gain experience through our daily, family, social, professional and education life. Our experiences help us make the right decisions, manage our lives better, and have a good quality of life.

Imagine when a baby tries to walk; he/she falls thousands of times till they learn how to walk. From our experience, we know that learning and improving can take time. Therefore, all we need to do is set up our goals and work towards achieving them.

During our education, all of us take exams, and we get prepared before exam days. When we study hard, we succeed and get good grades. Do we get prepared the same way when we want to do or achieve something important to us?

Many of my clients have great ideas, observations and opportunities, but they don’t know where to start or don’t put enough effort into them to achieve. Ideas like writing a book, taking an acting course, studying a subject they like, setting up or growing their business, starting up a new career, travelling and so on.

As long as we are honest with ourselves and make good enough effort, any idea is achievable. Therefore, if you have an idea, observation, opportunity, consideration and want to start up, but thinking you hasn’t got enough experience, I suppose you might be wrong. You have many experiences from your past life, and you can start up anything by observing your own experience and make a move. Once you start-up, you will see how it is easy to grow.

Help and Support

Most of us probably like to help and support others; however, when it comes to asking for it, we hesitate or rather not ask for it. Why?

Probably this is because of our education system and tradition. Culturally, there is a misconception that asking for help might be seen as a sign of weakness or vulnerability. When you genuinely ask for help and support, I believe there is always someone to help and support. As long as you do not try to benefit or use people for your advantage.

Where can you get help from?

Your obstacle or problem might be personal, family, social, business, financial, legal, housing, mental or physical wellbeing. No matter what your situation is, the help and support you need available and might come in lots of different ways.

Family


You can ask for financial or emotional help and support from your family members. For example, a friend of mine wanted to buy a flat, but she didn’t have enough deposit, so she asked her uncle for financial support. She borrowed some money from her uncle, and she has got her flat, and she pays her uncle back in instalments.

Help and support don't have to be financial. Another friend of mine bought a new flat, but her father couldn’t help her financially; however, he offered his help to redecorate and fix walls, saving her from paying thousands of pounds to contractors.

Friends


you can always ask friends for help and support. Good friends will always make your life easier. A friend of mine, who is a single mum, leaves her children with her friends while she has to go shopping or attend meetings or appointments such as doctor or hospital. Her friends are very supportive so that she can manage her life better.

Non-profitable organisations


Many organisations can provide advice free of charge. A good source of these organisations can be local councils, charities and associations such as the Citizens Advice Bureau.


It is best to use one of the search engines like Google, Yahoo or Bing to find out more about organisations you might gain help from.

Professional help


There is also professional help that you can either pay or get for free, such as a psychologist, lawyer, accountant, life coach, doctor, therapist, etc. Most private organisations give initial consultation for free.

As a life coach, I provide an initial consultation to my clients for free. This helps me to know their issues and whether I can help or not. It also helps them to decide whether we can work together, and if not, where or who they should go.

It might be worth contacting one of them according to your circumstances and getting some guidance on how to solve your issue.

Social groups


These groups can be beneficial if you want to socialise and make friends. These include meet-up groups, dance courses, fitness groups, weekly meetings and activities organised by local organisations. I used to go to a dance course every Thursday and made many friends while enjoying dancing and socialising. You can use the internet or visit the local library or council to find out about local groups and organisations in your area.

Educational and Training Courses


You can learn new skills or improve your skills and knowledge in certain areas and make new friends. These courses can help you improve your life quality and enable you to find out new ways of making business. These courses can include marketing, how to start-up a business, photography, painting, acting, writing, coaching, etc. Years ago, I attended a course to learn how to write business plans, which helped me expand my business.

We all have the knowledge, experience and skills we need to lead a successful life. If we apply our sources and use them wisely, there is nothing to prevent us from achieving our goals.

As a life coach, I can help and support you if you think you are not making good progress with your life and unable to use sources available to you. Working with me can help you to progress with your life, making important decisions for your future and find the right direction to build up a meaningful, happy and successful life.


P.S: A special thanks to Ms Linda Turner and Miss. Lucy Mantella for their help, support and kindness.

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