• Behcet Bicakci

The Black Wolf and The White Wolf

By Behcet Bicakci, Life Coach (DipLC)

I have been telling this famous story about the black wolf and the white wolf to my clients and friends and how our good and bad feelings and thoughts are in fight. The story is about our negative and positive thoughts, as well as feelings.


The Black Wolf and The White Wolf Story

The story...


A wise man said; there are two wolves inside us, one of them is black, and the other one is white.

The black wolf represents evil, sadness, stress, depression, anger, fear, jealousy, arrogance, greed, lack of self-confidence, lack of self-worth, lack of self-discipline and living lowest of self-values.

The white wolf represents goodness, kindness, self-respect, peace, love, hope, confidence, humility, faith, courage, gratitude, gratefulness, happiness, and living the highest values.

These two wolves are always constantly in the fight, said the wise man.

One of the listeners asked, "Which wolf wins?"

The wise man replied, "the one you feed the most."


The story tells us the importance of the way we think, feel and habits and how they can affect our daily, family, social, and business lives. Let me give you an example: Let's assume that you are a middle-aged person who feels lonely and doesn't feel to do anything or speak with anyone. You feel that you have this feeling of loneliness for a while, and it has been taken control over you. This feeling hits you more in the night or early morning, and it drains your energy which makes you feel tired and miserable. Your mood starts to change throughout the day, and you are not able to focus on anything. You feel emptiness and nothing makes sense.


So how can you deal with this negative feeling?

Brain Tracy, a well-known self-development author, has a great way of dealing with negative feelings and thoughts. He states:


"When you find yourself in the territory of negative feelings, stress and lowest state of your values, get on back your horse and leave there. Do not allow yourself being overwhelmed and defeated. Instead, live the highest level of your values."

When you have this negative feeling, you should not allow it to walks in your mind and take control of you. You need to say stop! I don't want loneliness and negative feelings. When you feel this feeling comes to you, you can eliminate it by being active. For instance, you can take a shower, make a cup of tea, try talking to a friend or family member (if possible), or get out for a walk in the park or put some cheering up music or watch a comedy movie. You also can develop new habits such as going to the gym, learn painting, reading books or watching videos about dealing with loneliness. You can even start to write about something nice, such as a memory or a holiday adventure when this feeling comes to you.


It would help if you also talked about your negative feelings and loneliness with a friend or family member you trust. This can help you to let it out and get rid of it. If you think it has been a while and it gets worst day by day, you should contact mental health services, doctor or other professionals such as psychologists, life coaches, etc. These services are available for people who need help. You should not be discouraged to ask for help and support from these organisations because the source of your symptoms might be because of your lack of nutrition, vitamins, hormonal imbalance, a trauma in the past, physical illness, bad habits such as drug, alcohol, or mistreatment by others especially discrimination because of your gender, origin or religion.

We all have difficulties and challenges in life, which can cause us having negative feelings to feed the black wolf such as sadness, fear, anger, loneliness, low self-confidence etc. Therefore it is up to us to feed black wolf with negative emotions and thoughts and having a miserable, unhappy and unsuccessful life.


Alternatively, it is also up to us to stop feeding our minds with negative thoughts and replace them with positive habits, emotions and thoughts and feeding the white wolf with hope, courage, confidence, compassion, positive thinking and ask for help and support to overcome our difficulties to have a happy life to live.


Note: If you wish to learn more about how to think positive, please visit my blog Positive Thinking.


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BB Life Coaching

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I am based in London, United Kingdom and working through phone, Skype and if it is needed meeting up face to face.

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