What is clarity?
By Behcet Bicakci, Life Coach (DipLC)
A simple definition of clarity is being clear in mind, with feelings and having clear directions what you want to be, what you want to have and where you want to go. The clarity in mind is essential for physical, psychological and emotional wellbeing as well as making the right decisions. When your mind is clear, you know which direction to go.
Statistics show that people who have clarity are successful and enjoy their lives while people who are not clear about their directions and keep changing their mind and their direction fails. Lack of clarity and unable to find right direction can be the source of wrongdoings such as using drug, alcohol, hostility, violence, lack of integration of social life, procrastination, unable get out of economic and emotional turmoil. Furthermore, it can also be a source of mental and physical health issues such as anxiety, fatigue, stress, depression, lack of motivation, eating disorder, self-harm and so on.
If you are confused by choices and options as well as thoughts and feelings, then it is highly likely you will make wrong decisions which can negatively affect your life as well as people around you. No matter how well educated and talented person you are, if you are not able to clear your mind and focus on what you want, you will fail. A well-known Indian yogi author Jaggi Vasudev also known Sadhguru states that;
"if you change your mind constantly, it will not help you to get where you want to go. Being uncertain about what you want to do will also confuse people around you. This can affect your relations with others also."
Approximately there are around fifty thousand thoughts cross our mind every day. Some of these thoughts are positive, some negative and some of them emotional. Whichever thought we focus on, it will grow. Therefore, if we focus on negative thoughts such as fear, sadness, anger, jealousy, hate, resentment and similar thoughts/feelings and allow them to stick around and keep talking to ourselves negatively, our brain will produce more negative thoughts and focus on them. These negative thoughts will not serve us to move forward but get on our way and destruct us from what we want to achieve. Because of this reason, it is vital to let negative thoughts go and focus on positive thoughts which can help us to set up clear directions and focus on what we want to achieve. The more we focus on positive thoughts, the more our brain will produce positive thoughts and feelings.
Let me give an example, let's say, you are working for a firm, and recently you have been under stress because you have some family issues. You have been late to work and unable to finish your daily work tasks. Your manager briefly had a word with you and reminded you that you should do better. You start to think that you might lose your job and if you lose your job you will not be able to pay your rent, and you do not have much savings. This might also make your family issue worse. If you keep the focus on you might lose your job, your work progress will go down, and you will start mass up things at work because you are not able to focus on your work and you will force yourself to do it. This will not help you to get out of the situation. Instead, you can have a word with your manager and explain you have got some personal/family issues and you will need some support till you sort it out. As long as your manager is aware, you have got some personal issues; they will understand and treat you differently. This will help you to build up your self-confidence and make you stronger.
Also, it is not only negative thoughts and feelings that we need to let them go, but we also need to deal with unprocessed feelings and thoughts that are crowding in our inner landscape. Unaddressed thoughts and feelings can grow by the time if we have a habit of not dealing with them. Just imagine you live in a house and you don't clean and tidy up for a week. After a few days, You will start to notice it gets messy and dirty. Imagine if you do not clean and tidy up your house for weeks even for months, what will happen? After a while, you will not be able to enter the house and move around because it will be too messy and dirty. This is the same for our mind, and when we don't address and deal with matters in our mind, by the time, we will have too many thoughts, ideas and feelings. Having too many of them in our mind will confuse us and make it difficult to identify the correct one. That is why it is essential to learn clear our mind, let negative thoughts and feelings go, start addressing issues and challenges that we keep in our mind for weeks, months even years. Once we start clearing our mind, we will make more space for new and positive thoughts and ideas grow in our mind.
Dr. Habib Sadeghi D.O., The Author of The Clarity Cleanse book, explain the cause of unaddressed thoughts and feelings on our inner peace as follows:
'...if we don't make a habit of containing and processing our feelings and thoughts, our internal landscape goes through the same kind of devolution as that of a hoarder's house. Such feelings and thoughts hang around, cluttering up our consciousness. Over time, unaddressed clutter will continue to build, not only crowding out our authentic being but festering and becoming unsanitary, even downright dangerous. When the buildup reaches this level in our internal landscape, that's when disease erupts in our bodies or our life circumstances.
Our biases, prejudices and limiting beliefs and our many distractions which is repressed emotions and unprocessed experiences (bad or good) that stick with us, drain our energy and get in our way. We need a way to process and make sense of the things that happen in our lives… The longer we go without taking action, the more work there's going to be when we finally start, and the more likely it is we'll unearth something truly nasty that's been growing unseen in the darkness.'
In the same book, Dr Habib Sadeghi suggests a method of clearing the mind. This method can help you to clear your mind and find a solution for your obstacle.
Step 1: You will find a quiet place where you will not be disturbed. Keep away your phone and having a completely quiet place to start.
Step 2: You will write about your obstacle, problem, or challenge for five days. Each day 12 minutes. You will have a pen, paper and a timer ready. Once you start to write about it you will write down non-stop till the time is up. Don't worry about misspelling or bad handwriting. Just write down whatever comes to your mind.
Step 3: Once you finish writing. You don't read it back because when you read it back, your brain will read negative thoughts and feelings and subconsciously your brain will assume it is what you want. Therefore, it is essential you don't read what you have written down.
Step 4: Find a safe place and burn what you have written down. When you burn it, you burn negative feelings and thoughts; therefore, they become ashes. It is important you burn it but not tear up or using a shredder. It has to been burn.
Step 5: practice this method for five days every day. Continuity is an important part of the experiment. Therefore, you must practice 5 days in a row without having a break.
Once you start to do it, each day you will notice you write about the same issue but differently. After five days, you will be able to clear your mind about the obstacle and come up with a solution. I personally tried this method, and it helped me to come to a conclusion which led me to make the right decision. Your decision might be positive or negative, but it is important to make the decision and move on.
Initially, it can be challenging to get used to clear our mind because anything new we start and practice is difficult and can be complicated. However, by practising it over and over again, we will get used to how to clear our mind and to make the right decisions. A Canadian Life and Business Coach Brain Tracy addresses this process as follows:
"It is like climbing on a mountain, in the beginning, you are surrounded by rocks and trees; however, the more you go up, the easier you see different views and enjoy the view. Of course, it is difficult when you start your journey, the more you make progress, the more you need to make an effort, your legs will shaking and feel tired, you will run out breath time to time, however when you arrive certain level you can take a break and enjoy the view while your body re-energise. After arriving at the top of the mountain, you can see the view clearly and see what is happening at the bottom. It is easier to control your life when you are at the top of your purpose and achievements."
How to Process Clarity
Writing: When we experience a situation, challenge or problem, it is important we identify why it has happened and try to deal with it by writing about it. When we write about the obstacle, we allow it comes out of our mind and see clearly what is happening. The more you write about the obstacle, the clearer your mind becomes.
Talking: by talking with a friend, work colleague, family member or a professional such as psychologist, doctor, career specialist, life/business coach can help to find a solution about our obstacle. It is important to communicate with the right person, especially when your situation or problem requires proper and professional attention. This will help you to give it a meaning and find the source of challenge or issue and also find a solution which will help you to clear your mind and focus on your life. If you don't take action earlier, the situation can get out of hand and stay that way.
We need to stop blaming and judging ourselves as well as others. Also, we need to stop keep internalise negative feelings, thoughts and experiences. When we stop to do so, a huge burden is lifted, and we will be more positive, resilient and better able to identify our directions which way to go.
When we have clarity on our side, we know what we want, have and to do. Therefore, we have clear directions in our life. Because we start to think and act differently, different things will come on our way. This positive change will affect our personal, family, social and work life. We will start notice opportunities, and positive people appear in our lives, troubled relationships will either improve or resolve, quality of our life, as well as the quality of our relationships with friends, colleagues or romantic partners, will improve.
Clarity gives us a positive outlook, enable us to visualise our future and to have clear plans for our future. When we are clear about our directions, we do not scare of taking risks of things we wanted to do but did not have enough courage to do; we will have good enough self-confidence to take risks and enjoy the life we want to live.
Clarity can be the starting point of a good and meaningful life as well as success. Being the best version of yourself, achieve the success you desire depends on the decisions you make. To make the right decisions and move forward in our life depends on a clear mind.